


We'll Share It All

by MissLiddel



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-30
Updated: 2013-04-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 23:18:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/741345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissLiddel/pseuds/MissLiddel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Tom loses his temper and punches one of the french stalkers, the twins don't seem to be on the same wavelength. Bill doesn't understand, and Tom is frustrated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I remember obsessively following the story when it came out that Tom hit that stalker. Written back when it happened. Hope you enjoy the story!
> 
> I have my stories Posted on TH Fanfiction and deviant art. So let me know if you like it, and I might post up some more of my stuff.
> 
> Also I'm a bit rusty at this. Do people still post disclaimers? Haha. I don't own TH, or their music.  
> :p

"How-? How-? Gah!" Bill yelled for what seemed like the thousandth time. He threw his arms in the air. 

"Shut. Up," Tom said through clenched teeth; he'd been listening to his brother attempt to form a complete sentence(and fail) since David and their band mates had left. 

"I just don't see how you could have done something like that!" Bill continued to pace back and forth in front of the couch where Tom sat, elbows braced on his knees with his head in his hands. 

"I think we've already established that!" Tom snapped. 

"Well, I'm sorry, Tom." Bill finally stopped pacing and turned to face his brother. "But how could you have lost it like that?"

The look in his eyes was one of genuine disappointment and fear, like he'd let his little brother down. It killed Tom, and it made him angry at that girl, the police, the media, and the whole stupid world! They were the fucking victims, and all because he lost his temper for one stupid moment. Their whole world had been flipped upside down, and he'd put their band's reputation in jeopardy. 

"If you ask me 'how' one more time, that girl won't be the only one that needs a medic tonight!" Tom shouted.

Bill opened his mouth, then closed it. He sat down beside his brother and crossed his arms.

Tom almost sighed with relief, it hadn't been quiet in the apartment since they came back from the gas station. 

He could feel Bill twitching beside him. He knew he didn't have much time until his twin was up and yelling again. At least he understood that Tom needed some quiet thinking time. 

The police had already contacted them, and the attorneys had been contacted as well. He'd already endured the wrath of David, and Georg and Gustav's shock and silent disappointment. The Gs, at least, understood that Tom was young, and that there was only so much that he could take. 

Bill was never much of a fighter, neither was Gustav. Even though Georg was not the most serious person in the world, he was older and a bit wiser. Tom figured that left him to be the one to break. The attack on their mother had been the final straw.

Tom was frustrated, tired, and lost. 

He had had no idea what they were supposed to do. The legal action they had taken hadn't seemed to get them anywhere. He'd just been so fed up and angry that he'd snapped. He was smarter than that, and everyone but his brother seemed to remember that.

Georg and Gustav hadn't yelled at him and, after he'd calmed down a bit, even David had apologized for shouting at him. 

Bill just didn't seem to be picking up on Tom's feelings, and his finally shutting up was the only sign that he'd given that he even remotely knew what Tom was thinking, feeling, or what he needed. He already felt like an idiot, and his brother's loud, angry scolding wasn't helping that at all. He knew that Bill was scared, that was obvious, but Tom was scared, too. But then he always had to be the strong one, the one who would reassure Bill that everything would be okay when things got rough, or when something bad happened. 

So maybe Bill didn't think that Tom could be scared of anything, but Tom figured he had to know that it was different when the bad thing happened directly to Tom. Granted, it did affect the whole band, but Tom was the one who would get in the most trouble if this thing ended badly. 

He just wanted Bill to understand that he was worried about what would happen next.

Tom growled in frustration just as his brother shot up and turned to face him. 

"God, Tom! How could you have done something so- so- selfish! Didn't you stop to think about what it could have done to the band, to your friends?"

Tom had been about to make another angry retort, but Bill's accusation stopped him.

He glared up at his brother and slowly stood so they were eye to eye. Bill shifted a bit, uncomfortable, and for a second, he looked caught between wanting to take it back, and wanting to stand his ground. In the end, his stubborn side got the better of him, and he stared right back at his brother, not breaking eye contact. 

They never used the word selfish. Never. They'd sacrificed too much for each other over the years. It was against the rules, their rules, of twin-dom, and of brother hood. 

"I'm being selfish? The only reason you're worried is because if this thing ends the band, the spotlight wouldn't be on you anymore! Heaven forbid the world no longer stop spinning when you get a new haircut!"

Bill narrowed his eyes, but didn't answer; he just turned and grabbed his keys off the counter.  
"Where are you going?" Tom shouted. 

"I don't know, I can't be around you right now!" Bill answered as he zipped up his jacket.  
Before Tom could yell 'good' the door had already slammed shut behind his brother. 

Tom stared at the door for a while before he finally sat back down on the couch and covered his face with his hands. He sat and focused on the inside of his eyelids, thinking about nothing. He tried to clear his mind until he'd almost fallen asleep. He didn't want to move now that he'd finally gotten a bit comfortable, and his head didn't hurt so badly. He was afraid that sitting up would get the thoughts swirling again, and make his head ache. 

In the end, he figured a sore back wouldn't do anything to help his head, and forced himself to get up and go to his room. 

He didn't even bother to switch on the light. He just kicked off his pants, pulled of his shirt and threw it on the floor, not caring. He climbed into bed and tried to keep his mind blank until he fell asleep.  
*** 

Tom groaned as he came out of the deep, restless sleep he'd fallen into. He sat up, not feeling anymore rested than when he'd laid down. He tried to shake himself free of the feeling that had gripped him while he was sleeping. Even in his dreams he still seemed to be aware of the fact that he didn't know what would happen next. 

Hitting a girl was not a good thing. Not to mention the fact that she was trying to turn this against him. Tom didn't think he'd ever have to deal with people taking advantage of him because of his fame; he knew it was a real threat when you were a celebrity, but he took precautions to avoid it. He only kept close friends, and only got close to girls for one reason. 

And the worst part was, he felt alone in all this. Yeah, so David was working on getting it all sorted out, but David didn't have to deal with feeling like you'd let the people who matter most to you down. Feeling solitude in anything always scared the crap out of Tom. And Bill just didn't seem to fucking understand that. 

He kicked his blankets off and headed for the living room. The apartment was still dark. He glanced at the door and saw that Bill's jacket wasn't hanging, and his keys weren't on the counter. He figured he must have spent the night somewhere if he wasn't back yet. Tom looked up at the clock on the wall - he'd only slept for two hours. Maybe he would be back then. 

Tom growled in frustration. He had other things to worry about besides the argument they'd gotten into. But the memory made him so angry that he couldn't push it off to the side, now that it'd been brought to the for front of his mind. Bill hadn't asked Tom if he was okay after the incident had taken place, and he hadn't asked him after David had finished yelling at him, in fact, he'd taken over! Then he had the fucking nerve to call Tom 'selfish'? 

The twins could be harsh to each other, calling the other on their flaws, but they usually knew to draw the line where it really hurt. That kind of hurt was reserved for bringing the other back down to earth or to make them stop being stubborn, to see that they were being out of control, to see that what they were doing was wrong. What Bill had said was completely uncalled for; Tom obviously knew that what he had done was wrong, if it hadn't been obvious, Gustav would have torn into him as well. And he hadn't even tried to justify himself. He'd just sat there and taken David's yelling. 

He closed his eyes and tried not to think about the argument anymore. His head felt like it was about to burst. Despite how tired he was, he couldn't sit still. 

He knew checking his messages might bring some sort of relief, with news from David, his mother, or even Bill, but he just couldn't bring himself to switch his phone back on.

He sighed and leaned back against the couch, staring at the wall across from him. He couldn't get in TOO much trouble. The girl had been stalking them after all, and they'd already filed complaints against the whole group. 

It made Tom furious to think of that cow in the black shirt telling her friends to, "call the police" after they had attacked their mother, like she hadn't been the victim. He clenched his fists in anger and turned around and punched a hole in the wall behind the sofa. Now his fist throbbed as well as his head. 

"Dammit!" He cursed as he shook his hand. He stared at the hole in the wall until the anger drained out of him, just leaving the ache, the fear, and the exhaustion. Bill wouldn't like that hole in the wall.

Bill. Damn it, his mind just couldn't settle on a safe topic!  
He sat back on the couch, head in his hands as he closed his lids tight against the burning in his eyes, loneliness now joining the things left behind after the anger.  
***

Tom wasn't sure when he'd fallen asleep again, but this time the uneasy feeling that had taken hold of him earlier felt different, more urgent. He rubbed his eyes and looked at the clock again. He'd slept for two more hours. His nerves were on end, like there was something he needed to do, or like he was waiting for something to happen. 

To alleviate this feeling, he got up and plugged the apartment phone back in, and hit the button on the answering machine to play the messages. There were two from David, who had apparently left him messages on his cell. He didn't like the fact that he had switched off his phone in the first place. 

He sighed and sat back down on the couch and turned his phone back on. He listened to his voice mails. There were the messages David had left him, and even one from Gustav, who had called one last time to see if the twins were doing all right. Tom glanced at the counter where Bill usually kept his car keys; they still weren't there. He figured he must have stayed with someone then. 

Tom's phone began to vibrate in his hand. He flipped it open and looked at the number. He didn't recognize it. It was probably not wise to answer numbers that he didn't recognize, but it might have been someone important calling from a different number he hadn't bothered to save in his phone. It would be just like Bill to get a flat AND drop his phone in a puddle all in the same night. 

"Hello?" 

"Hello. I'm looking for a mister Tom Kaulitz." 

"This is he." He'd be kicking himself if he had to change his cell number later. 

"Mister Kaulitz, your brother has been in an accident."

Tom's head began to spin, and he couldn't take in air; his throat felt like it was closing up. The lady had to repeat the information twice; making sure that Tom had it right. 

He let himself feel numb, purposely not thinking about anything, concentrating on driving, as he sped to the hospital 

A nurse caught him before he could go into his brother's room in the ICU. He didn't like it there; it seemed darker, and more hopeless than the other parts of the hospital. 

"You're Bill's brother?" Tom nodded frantically, fighting to keep himself numb until he could see that his brother was all right, that putting Bill in the Intensive Care Unite wasn't necessary. 

"Your brother was involved in a pretty bad accident. His car was run off the road by a young woman. She only had minor injuries, but it doesn't look good for your brother. His car smashed into a tree, and he was crushed. There's nothing more we can do, and he hasn't got much time left. You're mother is on her way. I'm so sorry," she said. Pity was eminent on her face. 

Tom's legs nearly gave out from under him as he shook his head and pushed past the nurse into Bill's hospital room. The room was very white and clean. The brightness hurt his eyes, he had to stop for a moment for them to adjust. He would have switched off the light, but there was no lamp in the room. It couldn't have been comfortable for his brother for it to be so bright.

Then Tom noticed that Bill wasn't moving. 

But the nurse had to be lying! He'd be okay!

"If we go, we only go together."

Tom could hear his brother sing the promise in his head. Tom knew that when he got to his brother's bedside, that everything would be okay. Besides if Bill was... Tom would be too. Bill had promised.

He forced his legs to take him to his brother's side. His stomach churned as the numbness finally wore off. 

Where Bill's skin showed through the purple blotches that seemed to be everywhere, it was whiter than the makeup he usually smeared over his face. Probably because it looked like most of his blood was now ABOVE his skin. He had IVs and breathing tubes stuck into him, and the heart monitor was beeping loud enough. 

Tom slid the chair closer to the bed and sat down, taking his brother's cold, purple hand. He shivered and gently tried to rub some warmth into it. 

"Bill," he said, hoping his brother would open his eyes.

"Bill," Tom said again.

"Bill?" he asked louder this time, he was staring to panic. The heart monitor was still beeping; Bill was still breathing, and Tom had to remember to keep breathing. He calmed himself and used his other hand to pull his twin's black hair free from the dried blood that was left on his face.  
It looked like the hospital had cleaned him off a bit, probably to assess the damage. 

"Bill!" he said again, feeling sick.

"Open your eyes, you dramatic idiot," Tom said, hoping his brother would rise to the bait and smack him playfully, like he always did when Tom teased him that way. 

"Please! Open your eyes!" He was starting to panic again. He leaned over Bill, and stroked his purple cheek. "Please."

Then the heart monitor's beeping went flat. 

"No," he said in shock. "No."

The door creaked behind him.

"No!" He shouted at the nurse, as she entered the room. She stayed in the doorway. 

"I'm so sorry. There's nothing we can do. I'm so sorry."

He turned away from her and held his brother's hand to his face, desperate for a sign of life in Bill's broken body, before he pressed his cheek against his twin's. No, it couldn't be happening. If this was happening, then he would be dead too. Maybe he was dying, he thought, with the agony that had consumed him. He was nauseous, and dizzy, and confused, and his heart burned. He hoped he was having a heart attack. 

The heart monitor seemed to be getting louder. He flinched as the high-pitched sound kept getting higher, and higher, louder, and louder. He thought his eardrums were going to burst. How could every one else in the hospital not hear it?

"Can't you turn that stupid machine off?" He turned and yelled at the nurse. 

Tom stared in horror, as the nurse's skin and flesh seemed to melt off her bones, leaving just her skeleton behind. She tried to answer him, but it only came out as a gurgle. He shook his head, trying to make sense of what was going on, but the stupid machine kept getting louder, and Bill was... Tom felt something wet and mushy ooze through his fingers. He looked down at his brother and found that his skin was also melting away. Tom jumped up and pulled away.  
***

Tom shot forward; his heart trying to beat it's way out of his chest. He looked around, relief flooded through him as he realized that he'd been dreaming. He swung his legs off the couch and realized that someone had rearranged him into a more comfortable sleeping position. 

He glanced at the kitchen counter and saw that the light was on, and Bill's keys were on the counter. He swore to himself that he would never let Bill talk him into watching horror movies late at night ever again. Tom stood up, still shaken, and bruised his shins on the coffee table. 

Bill was facing the stove with his back to Tom as he stood in the doorway. He smacked the stove timer with a sauce-covered wooden spoon as it emitted a loud ring that sounded suspiciously like the heart monitor from his dream. Tom shuddered and made sure his feet scuffed against the floor as he walked in.

Bill jumped and turned around to face his twin. 

"Tom- You scared- Did I wake-? Sorry- ," He stuttered, dropping the wooden spoon he had used to assault the stove. Bill still seemed unable to form complete sentences, but Tom didn't care anymore. He didn't care what Bill said, as long as he was talking; it meant he was breathing. 

"No," Tom answered, not really sure what he'd said 'no' to, but he knew that there had been a question in Bill's jumbled words somewhere. 

"Good. I was trying to make us something to eat," Bill explained, motioning to the two steaming pots on the stove. "To make up for... But the stupid timer is broken!" he said, glaring at it. "I was afraid it would wake you up."

His twin's gaze kept moving from Tom's face, to the floor. "Look, Tom, I'm sorry about how I acted, and I'm sorry that I called you selfish," Bill said in a rush. "I was just scared, and I had NO right to- " 

"It's okay," Tom cut him off this time.

He'd all but forgotten their little argument.

Bill looked up at Tom, chewing on his bottom lip. "You forgive me?" 

"Yes." 

"Really?" He was looking him full in the face now, shocked. 

"Yes," Tom said quickly.

A huge smile broke out across Bill's face.

"As long as you forgive me. I wasn't very nice, either." 

"Of course! Thank you! Oof!"

Tom knocked the wind out of Bill as he grabbed his twin, and almost knocked him into the stove. Tom buried his face against Bill's neck, his eyes shut tight. 

"Tom, are you okay?" Bill asked carefully, rubbing his brother's back. Tom just nodded, unsure he could control his voice, and shot back against the counter just as quickly as he had grabbed his twin. 

"It's okay. We'll get this all sorted out. We reported them first, and we have evidence."  
Tom could feel himself shaking. 

"Tom?"

A sob escaped him, and he could feel the warn tears streaming down his face.

"It'll be alright, trust me. David's worse than any lawyer out there, just think about who he must've hired!"

Tom looked his brother in the eyes. 

"What if that doesn't keep them away? What if they get violent? What if they catch you alone?" he shouted, not caring that his voice broke.

Bill seemed to understand as he suddenly wrapped his arms around Tom just as fiercely. 

Bill whispered, "I'm right here."

Another sob escaped, and Tom could feel more tears spill down his checks and wet his twin's neck.  
Tom nodded again and pulled away.

Bill frowned as he watched his twin stare down at the tile and rub his eyes with the back of his hand; Tom's nightmares always caused him pain, especially when they were kids. It made Bill feel so helpless. He couldn't do anything but hug his twin, and assure him that he was there, and that he was never going anywhere.

Though, Tom's pride had gotten worse with age, and he no longer told his twin about the nightmares, nor did Tom let Bill hold him when he caught on. Tom always had these kinds of nightmares when they were under a lot of pressure, and had a particularly upsetting fight. Bill hadn't been able to come up with a way to successfully remind his twin that they simply couldn't be apart, and never would, until they were much older.

Bill reached out again and locked his brother in a tight hug.  
***

Spending nearly every second of every day with someone for your entire life could really take it's toll on a person, even if your life wouldn't have been as much fun without them.

The twins had been building up to the explosion for days, so naturally, it got nasty. This fight involved nothing but words, and those were the worst kind. Petty, and not-so-petty insults had been thrown back and forth. Both had used insecurities, and harsh truths to cut each other down. Deep dark secrets were thrown out into the light and cruelly laughed at. Each side had dragged themselves away truly wounded. 

Both twins retreated to their rooms, and stayed there the rest of the day. Bill had woken up in the middle of the night, irritated, and unable to fall back asleep. He'd gone to bed early, seeing as he'd had nothing else to do, trapped in his room all day. He'd finally decided to just lay flat on his back and stare at the ceiling until he fell asleep again. Just when he was about to give up and get his laptop, he heard Tom's mattress creak from across the call, and two dull thuds-feet hitting the carpeted floor. 

Tom NEVER woke up in the middle of the night; once he was out, there was nothing you could do to get him up 'til noon, at the earliest, the next day. Bill was about to get up and check on his twin, until he remembered he'd practically dehydrated himself because of him earlier in the day.

Bill laid in bed and listened to the silence across the hall, and wondered if he'd imagined the noises in the first place. 

He knew what would wake his brother up in the middle of the night, and Bill also knew that Tom wouldn't want him to know he was awake if that was the case.

After a few minutes of contemplating, he sighed and got up, quietly making his way to his door. Bill figured if Tom was asleep, then he wouldn't have to explain himself, and if he was awake, Bill would just tell him to be quiet, and then quickly go back to sleep.

He carefully opened his door and crossed the hall to his brother's door. The singer rolled his eyes at himself, and quietly turned the door knob, and cracked the door open. 

Tom was sitting on his bed, in the darkness, hunched over, and staring at the dark carpet. He looked up at Bill as a thin line of light leaked in from the hallway.

Bill opened the door wider, now that he was caught. "You okay?" He asked, staying in the doorway. Tom nodded, and Bill shuffled further into the room when his brother didn't yell at him to get out. 

"You can sit down," Tom said when Bill went to stand by him. 

"Thanks."

Tom nodded again, looking back down at the floor. Bill could see that his eyes were shining, and even though his heart ached for him to reach out and hug his brother, he kept his hands folded in his lap. 

"I'm sorry," Tom said after a while. 

"It's okay. I'm sorry, too."

Tom wouldn't meet his gaze. 

"I didn't mean any of it."

He finally looked up, as if to reinforce the statement with his eyes. 

"I know. I didn't, either."

Bill smiled, reassuringly, and Tom leaned into him. Bill wrapped his arms around him, and Tom did the same before he quickly pulled away.

Bill sat with him until Tom had felt secure enough to let him go, and mumbled to the carpet that he was going to go to sleep.

Bill left his twin's room, switching the light off behind him, and went back to his own. He didn't go to sleep, though. He'd sat down at his desk to make something that would always remind Tom that there couldn't be one without the other. Twins weren't twins unless there was two of them, and being twins was a big part of their identity.

So naturally, they couldn't exist without each other. 

The next morning at breakfast, Bill dropped the folded up lyrics to In Die Nacht into Tom's cereal bowl before he could poor his milk. 

"What's this?" The guitarist asked, picking it up. 

"Read it," Bill said, smiling.

Tom cocked an eyebrow and unfolded the paper. 

"Do you have a melody in mind?" Tom asked when he'd finished reading. 

"yes," Bill said, still smiling. 

"You want to work on it when we're done eating?" Tom asked, his eyes running over the paper one more time before he folded it back up.

Bill nodded.

"I'll make us waffles," Tom said, abandoning his cereal. He stood up to gather the ingredients.

Bill knew that that was all the thanks he was ever going to get, but it was more than enough. And even though Tom never spoke another word about the song, only nodding in agreement to what ever Bill said about it in interviews, Bill knew he'd loved it and appreciated it.  
*** 

"If we go, we only go together," Bill quoted, when Tom stopped shaking.

Tom snorted and quickly pulled away.

"Sap," he accused, sniffing, and looked at the floor. 

"I know." Bill smiled. "Do you feel better now?" 

"You're going to burn the spaghetti," Tom stated.

Even though he'd never admit it to Bill, a simple 'I'm sorry' and a hug really could still work. And despite the fact that they were still in a horrible mess, he felt a lot better now that they had made up, and now that he knew Bill understood what he was feeling. He could finally see things being okay. And Bill was right, David's lawyer would probably put Satan to shame. 

"Gah!"

Tom got another spoon out a drawer and handed it to his twin. Bill took it and turned the burners off before he removed the lids of both pots and stirred the contents.

Bill sighed with relief when he saw that their food wasn't burning.

"It's a good thing I turned down the heat! The noodles may be a bit squishy though..."

Tom snorted again.

"Shut up!" Bill said. He reached behind him to smack Tom's arm.

Tom Caught his Twin's warm hand and squeezed it.

"I'll get the plates."

As long as they were together, they could handle anything. Reviews, stalkers,scandals-all of it. No one Kaulitz had to brunt the weight their burdens alone. 

Their music, and their life was a shared project, and it always would be.


	2. You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The twins are still dealing with the aftermath of the incident. But they'll get through it. They have each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just something I wrote while listening to the song You And I by T.A.T.U. I thought it fit with the theme of the Tom and Bill and the french stalker incident. I suppose it could be seen as a sequel to We'll Share it All. 
> 
> I do not own T.A.T.U., or their music, or Tokio Hotel.

Tom made a noise of misery as he buried his face deeper into his brother's damp hair, taking in the smell of his ridiculously expensive shampoo. Bill murmured something in his sleep, but didn't open his eyes. It'd been a month since the night he'd been pushed over the edge by a supposed fan, and yet the problem still hadn't gone away. Bill and Tom had gotten through that night together, eventually, but they were still dealing with the consequences.

The lawyers were fighting back on both sides, and it didn't look like anything was getting settled anytime soon.

Tom knew he'd caused a lot of trouble for his band mates and his brother, not to mention the pain he'd caused their mother. She'd called in tears the day the information had surfaced, at first asking if it was just a rumor, then begging for Tom to tell her it was a rumor when he didn't answer. Bill had stayed with him, and had taken over when Tom couldn't talk anymore. 

Bill insisted that they just had to keep fighting. If they kept pushing forward, they'd get through it. The girls were just as wrong as Tom, even more so than Tom. They'd threatened the twin's mother, and had caused the twins not to feel safe in their own home.

Those girls had forced them to say goodbye to yet another part of their innocence. Ever since they'd entered the spot light, they'd been loved and hated, praised and brutally criticized., and that was a lot to deal with at such a young age. 

The twins knew that there were worse things that came with being famous, but they always thought they could avoid it by being smart. But these girls had come out of nowhere, and the only thought that was going through Tom's mind that night was to make that girl feel the pain he felt when he thought about those girls hurting his mother, not of being smart.

Fame had come at a high price, but they refused to give it up. Being on stage, it just felt so right, like it was what they were meant to do. Bill'd always believed with every fiber of his being that it was, and so Tom had always pushed onward, because he trusted his twin.

Some nights it was still all just too much, and Tom just needed something to cling to, to ground him, so that he wasn't completely carried away by the madness. That something just happened to be Bill, it was always Bill. 

His twin could always keep him grounded, could always keep him sane and return him to reality. When his public image and the person he actually was began to run together, so that Tom didn't know what actually happened, and what he'd made up, all he needed was a day at home with Bill in their pajamas, and he could remember everything. 

When they were grungy, and sitting around eating pizza and watching rented movies, and when they actually looked like twins, Tom could remember.

He had a twin and a mother who would love him no matter what. He'd been an outsider in school once, and not always a celebrity. He was an actual person, and not just a perfect thing that had popped into existence the day Tokio Hotel had been signed. There was actual meaning behind their songs, and those songs were written by real people, with real emotions, about real events.

The only thing that helps him through, is Bill. Tom knew he would have crumbled long ago had he not had his little brother to stand beside him and urge him forward. Bill always saw the person Tom really was, even when he himself couldn't. Bill knew that Tom wasn't the horrible person the public saw him as after the incident. 

Bill believed in the person Tom really was, just as he'd always believed that they'd make it big, and he still believed that they could go farther. He believed that they'd go down in the rock hall of fame. Tom was sure they'd make it in if for no other reason than Bill's new Mohawk. 

When it was just the two of them, Tom didn't have to talk about anything he didn't want to. Bill didn't force him to talk about the incident, he didn't have to deny anything, or admit what he'd done, like he had to for all the interviewers they met with. He didn't have to be afraid to hide his feeling with his brother.

Some of their fans had deserted them after what had happened, not believing that the 'fans' had done anything wrong. On the nights when he couldn't take the criticism, in would come Bill, and let Tom burry his face in his ridiculous hair, and hide him from the world. 

It wasn't fair that they lived the way they did. That they had to endure the stalking, and the fear. They'd wanted to be rock stars, but they hadn't asked for this. Tom closed his eyes tighter, pressing his forehead against his brother's. Bill groaned sleepily and opened his eyes.

"Tom?" He asked quietly.

"Yes?" He answered, voice a bit tight.

"I'm sorry I fell asleep," Bill said worriedly, "I'll stay awake until you fall asleep." Bill Pulled away to look at his Twin.

"No, that's fine. I don't want to talk, I just…need you here. That's enough." Tom pressed the side of his face to his brother's and settled into the pillow.

"I'll always be here, Tom." He felt Bill's thin fingers on his cheek. "Always."

Tom shut his eyes. As long as he could hide his face in his brother's hair, he could make it. It was enough. It would always be enough.


End file.
